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We at the HeadBoard are dismayed at the recent characterization of the CU Boulder community as one that is disrespectful and objectifying of women. Let us just say we have the utmost respect for chicks and are proud to honor some of the finest babes here on these very pages.
To preface, we have no allegiance to either side of the current controversy. As fans that actually pay for the most expensive tickets in college football, we'd be in favor of firing God if she (we try) went 3-9. We are also in favor of due process. Regarding the current allegations, being complicit or oblivious beyond reason are legitimate reasons for dismissal. Having a lapse of sensitivity or awareness within reason are not. 
| 3/12/04 | Party at Reilly's, wooo hoooo! .......... | |
"You show me a parent who maintains he is unaware of parties at his house featuring alcohol and sex between 14-yr olds and multiple football players, and I'll show you a parent who is hell-bent on not knowing." See Reilly's story that has "no relevance" to CU's situation in today's Rocky.
"Makes this alum want to hide his class ring"
This alum can can suggest to that alum an excellent location just for that. | 
| 3/9/04 | DENVER POST: BARNETT/BERTUZZI CONNECTION?.......... | | In a joint press conference, Gov. Owens and CU President Hoffman announced a committee to investigate the possible connection between Todd Bertuzzi and Gary Barnett. "He said she was a horrible kicker so it was OK for him to break the guy's neck? That was horrible." |  | Meanwhile, Boulder DA Keenan is investigating a potential UCLA-type body part scandal at the CU Medical Center. Though no parts have been reported missing, she insists "when a piece of ass is involved, I'm involved." |
| 3/5/04 | Is there a PR person left in Boulder?......... | | Buff QB Joel Klatt gets prime space in SI and defends his coach's character - "a good thing" (Martha's not using it anymore) Buff QB Joel Klatt gets prime space in SI and spells out for every future recruit how much a) life sucks for football players in Boulder and b) life really sucks for black football players in Boulder - not a good thing at all. All future public statements from anyone involved must be approved by the HeadBoard, send comments to: NODUMBASSCOMMENTS@cubuffaloes.com | |
The little known yet most extreme aspect of new recruiting guidelines: "BMRR¹ procedure for any recruit will be performed only by a coach at any point during the offical 24-hr recruiting visit. Both the coach and at least one parent will be present during the procedure. Though the NCAA allows the University to furnish as much support material² "as necessary for a reasonable person to accomplish the task", the Board of Regents has added a self-imposed limit of 2 units. All support material will then be forwarded to Regent Jim Martin for verification. ¹Bowel Movement Remnant Removal
²Toilet Paper Now everyone knows that, after yesterday, CU has the strictest recruiting policy in the nation. Too bad no one knows that, prior to yesterday, CU had the strictest recruiting policy in the nation. |
| 3/4/04 | In a perfect world,... |  | ... there's an inmate in Canon City who is an obsessive animal lover, refuses to bathe, wears pink panties, is addicted to Viagra and has a penis the size of a tennis ball can (4-ball bonus version). Fondly known as Buttercup, his new roommate is the piece of shit (and ex-future serial killer) who was arrested yesterday for stealing puppies, dousing them with lighter fluid and setting them aflame to die the most horrible of deaths. Knock yourself out Buttercup, please return him in 20 years. | | And good morning Gov. Those Buff votes that you had a month ago sure would taste good this morning on a fresh scone while reading the morning paper. |
| 3/3/04 | "Now can't you see why women don't come forward?" | | Wrong. If anything, this episode should show the importance of coming forward correctly. Pursuing it half way either wrongly punishes the innocent or fails to fully punish the guilty. HEAdBOARD AXIOM #2
IF A CRIME HAS TAKEN PLACE AGAINST YOU AND YOU SEEK JUSTICE,
CONTACT THE POLICE* AND DO SO AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. [* for Ram fans, POLICE does not refer to any of the following: PR firms, Miramax, newspapers, Rick Reilly, Jim Martin...] |
| 2/27/04 | Now that the Gov has made it his baby.... |  | Being the "right-wing zealots" we are (except for Burkhalter), we happen to think the Gov has done a fine job. He turned it back into a full-time gig and hell, if he had a chin, he might even be in play nationally. We also think his initial response less than 24-hours after the deposition story broke was grandstanding at its worst. Involving Salazar is more of the same. Perhaps Gov should spend his spare time perusing the pages of the HeadBoard, maybe even find a new First Babe. Or two. |
| 2/20/04 With friends like these...
Denver Post, 2/20/04: | | | Overall, Hoffman said Barnett "has shown a lack of judgment" in his handling of the situation. She said the coach should have declined to comment on Hnida's ability because of the serious nature of her allegations. "But instead he went on for two or three, four, I don't know many minutes expounding on what a horrible player she was, essentially demeaning her before the world and saying because she's a bad player it was OK for the guys to rape her," Hoffman said. "That was horrible." |  | | It's one thing to hear some east coast hack make the twisted leap from "terrible" kicker to "OK for the guys to rape her" but to get it from the piehole of the president of the university? Remarkable. |  | Bad news for GB: beer sales at Folsom have also been "temporarily suspended". Any other D-I program have to face the likes of Hoffman, Keenan, Martin? |
"Female Football Hero Raped, Coach Says She's Terrible"
Now, your 5-day forecast with.... The facts:
- though widely characterized as harsh and irrelevant to Hnida's accusations, Barnett's response was to a question that addressed possible reasons why Hnida was resented on the team. She was a girl. She was a terrible kicker (since when is kicker synonymous with human being who had it coming?). Correct on both counts. Life would be much easier on him and the panties of the champions of political correctness if he had avoided the question altogether. His response, however, was both accurate and relevant. (and we always welcome the opportunity to work "panties" into our opinions.) - the act of sexual assault is minimized when the details specific to each instance are ignored in favor of including all instances under a single umbrella. Woman A: physically forced to have sex against her will. Woman B: intoxicates herself to the point that she can't remember going home, can't remember who she may have gone home with, can't remember consenting or not consenting to sexual activity and has no recollection if such activity occurred. Rape has become the default in such blurry situations. Not recognizing the difference between A & B does an injustice to all with the experience of Woman A. - Hnida chose to go public with her story. Hnida should then have been available to provide the details necessary for an accurate assessment of her allegations. To expect answers from Barnett about events that he knew few details of (minor things like when, where, who) is inane, his frustration understandable. The dean of American sports writers wanted answers to questions that couldn't even be formulated from the minimal amount of information he provided. Hack job, some things need more than the back page. (PS Hillary Swank to play the title roll, heard it here first). HEAdBOARD AXIOM #1
THERE IS NO ACCOMPLISHMENT IN BEING THE FIRST OF YOUR DEMOGRAPHIC TO DO SOMETHING IF THE ONLY REASON YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO IT IS BECAUSE OF YOUR DEMOGRAPHIC. Finally, to accurately represent any recruiting situation involving sex parties, we must insist that a representative of The HeadBoard be present at all future such events.
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